i guess its true when they say, only with bad experiences then only you will realise and learn to appreciate the present.
ive learnt so much in so little time.
a huge mistake, is what ive done.
i don't regret it.
but if only i could think wisely, this five months wouldn't have got wasted.
thank to you.
that particular one.
much appreciated.

Like I said, only when things are really in a bad shape, only then you will realised your mistakes. Well boy, I don't want to be that girl who you can't make you wake up. True enough, everything was close to perfect. But I felt it wasn't enough if it was only me who needed to put in effort into the r/s. We need and have to compromise. But I've never gotten that from you.

Blame me all you want, but for the entire two years, you'll never know how much I cried in silence.
You just won't understand.

Goodbye.

 

                                                                        

Im missing the guy up there. He's in camp right now, over at Jalan Bahar and its so bloody far away. The only thing thats getting me through the entire five days without him, is the thought of able to meet him on fridays. Cause he's the first that goes into NS (none of my ex-s was with me when they were NS-ing), I treat him like a baby. Made sure that none of my crazy ideas take control and that the boy could trust me eventhough he's not right next to me.

It's been two months now,since he went into NS. Life has been good, but dull. Work, and home straight. Even my fellow nurses says I have no life. Haha. How sad is that. But nevermind, seeing my boy on weekends is enough to colour my life up. 

The sweetest thing about this dude is everything he does for me when he book out of camp. Knowing we barely had enough time to spent together, he really made it up during the weekends. Trying to be with me whenever possible. Even if it means waking up at six in the morning just to send me to work and fetch me back at ten in the evening.

Seeing the efforts he's making, touched me. I finally realise how much I meant to him. He might not be able to express his love through words, but his doings are good enough. So good that each day, the love gets stronger more than ever.

Boy, you're the one for me.
You're my ecstacy.
You're the one I need.

With love,
Nyenyett
 

 

Punyer lar boring biler bf dah kene masuk NS. Dah ibarat macam hilang laki. Haha,
But really. Life hasn't been good since the boy got into NS. Sucks I tell you.
The best part is that I get to see him only on weekends, and I work on weekends. Irritating kan,
Bodoh punye NS.

I know I havent been updating my lj for 278974 donkey years already. Kakak sebuk keje lar. Haha. Anyways, life has been very different for me. Working on saturdays and sundays are the worst thing that could be happening to me. For once, i can never get lost track of the days. And today, Im on off! Like finally lar, after working on four afternoon shifts and one morning shift, I finally get a off day. I mean its a totally different thing if Im working in retail or something else. Nie nurse tau! Dah lar tak boleh isap rokok semua. Grr.

.......................................................................................................................

Two weeks ago, Mak passed away. I saw her reaching for her last breath. I was having my foundation programme and it was lunch time when I suddenly had the urge to vist her since I was in SGH too. When I stepped into the cubicle, my maid reached for me and cried continuosly. "Nenek tengah nazak" she says. I went into her screened bed and saw her there. It was hard for me you know. There I am, a nurse. Yet I can't do anything. Mummy. Ibu, my maid and I just had to wait for her last breath, The docter said there wasn't anything they could do since her cancer cells was already at the advanced stage.  Up till now, I could still smell her around the house, her presense and everything about her, She was the one that took care of me when my parents were at work when I was little. I remembered how she fed me, taught me ngaji, and how she put me to sleep at night. But, I know she's at a better place right now, Rest in peace granny.
 

Ira rindu Mak.

Semoga Allah S.W.T menempatkan rohnya bersama orang-orang yang beriman. Amin.
13-02-2009

I just finished watching The City. It was the episod about the boys night out. I reckon that once any of you have watched that particular episod, you'll know better than to trust guys wholeheartedly. You know, even the most trustworthy dude screws up sometimes. 

True enough girls are also just as due kali lima, but I beg to differ. I don't know about the other girls, but I feel that I acted as a responsible gf. Apart from the fact that Im irritatingly talkative when I get wasted, but the rest of me, is being a good girl. Haha.

I want to updated an entry but am lazy to type one. So here we go, a short one will do huh.

I was watching Titanic last night, then I decide to msg the idiotic bf.

Me: You, kalau ader satu life jacket jer tinggal, you bagi I pakai atau u pakai?
Him: I pakai untuk diri I, then I save you. Kalau I bagi you pakai, you tak tahu swim! Hahaha!
Me. You're so irritating tau. Abey kalau ader one spot left in a life boat, you bagi I naik atau you naik dulu?
Him: Kiter due-due naik. But I sit at your lap.


I swear to god the boy is irritating. Tak gune punye boypren. Hmpf.

For those of you that might have known me in the earlier stage of my life, every guy that Im with lasted barely 3-4months. And so, for the fact that Im celebrating my 1st  One Year Anniversary with the bf, it felt good. Cause, up till now, it still surprises me that I still can't get enough of him all these while. And of course, the credits goes to him. With my annoying merajok-moments, my countless PMS mood, and my forever lectures, he still is there by my side. Alhamdulilah.

The date we had was nothing special actually. Nothing fancy. Just a dinner, and the moments we spent together. Now, that's priceless. :)

( Life is good with this dude :) )